Tips for Supporting Infants’ and Young Children’s Transition as We Re-open

This resource provides guidance for supporting and responding to the stress that some children experienced in transitioning back to child care during the COVID-19 pandemic. It includes tips on making behavior expectations clear, making positive attention a regular part of the day, and more.

Resource Guide 2 provides guidance for supporting and responding to the stress that some children experienced in transitioning back to child care during the COVID-19 pandemic. It includes tips on making behavior expectations clear, making positive attention a regular part of the day, and more.

The Resource Guides in our series are intended for people who work with infants and young children. Most of the Resource Guides are accompanied by handouts with practical ideas and activities related to the topic. The Resource Guides were compiled by CEED for the Minnesota Department of Education (MDE). They are posted with MDE’s permission.

Topic: Preparing for Children’s Return

Resource Guide 2: Tips for Supporting Infants’ and Young Children’s Transition as We Re-open

Handout 2.1: Clearly State Behavior Expectations

Handout 2.2: Positive Attention

Handout 2.3: Our Preschool Rules

Handout 2.4: Tucker Turtle Takes Time to Tuck and Think

Reopening Child Care and Early Education Programs during the COVID-19 Pandemic

This resource presents an overview of stress behaviors to expect from children during a transition such as returning to child care, as well as information on how adults can respond.

The first in our series of Resource Guides created for the Minnesota Department of Education presents an overview of stress behaviors to expect from children during a transition such as returning to child care, as well as information on how adults can respond.

The Resource Guides in our series are intended for people who work with infants and young children. Most of the Resource Guides are accompanied by handouts with practical ideas and activities related to the topic. The Resource Guides were compiled by CEED for the Minnesota Department of Education (MDE). They are posted with MDE’s permission.

Topic: Preparing for Children’s Return

Resource Guide 1: Reopening Child Care and Early Education Programs during the COVID-19 Pandemic

Reflecting on Our Reactions and Responses to Children’s Behavior

Adults can model managing difficult feelings for the children they care for. This Resource Guide will assist you in gauging your own stress levels and monitoring your responses to different challenging behaviors.

Adults can model managing difficult feelings for the children they care for. Resource Guide 4 will assist you in gauging your own stress levels and monitoring your responses to different challenging behaviors.

The Resource Guides in our series are intended for people who work with infants and young children. Most of the Resource Guides are accompanied by handouts with practical ideas and activities related to the topic. The Resource Guides were created by CEED for the Minnesota Department of Education (MDE). They are posted with MDE’s permission.

Topic: Understanding Young Children’s Challenging Behavior

Resource Guide 4: Reflecting on Our Reactions and Responses to Children’s Behavior

Handout 4.1: Compassion Satisfaction Scale

Handout 4.2: Compassion Satisfaction Scoring

Handout 4.3: Life Stress Test

Handout 4.4: Self Care for Educators

Handout 4.5: Tree of Contemplative Practices

Meet CEED’s newest team member: Q & A with Anne Larson

CEED is delighted to welcome Anne Larson, PhD, to our team as a research associate.

CEED is delighted to welcome Anne Larson, PhD, to our team as a research associate. Dr. Larson studies the development and implementation of practitioner-supported and caregiver-implemented language assessments and interventions for young children. She and her family have just relocated to the Twin Cities from Utah, where Dr. Larson was on the faculty at Utah State University. However, she is no stranger to Minnesota, having completed her doctorate at the University of Minnesota after establishing a career as a speech-language pathologist in Twin Cities public schools.

Q: Your research centers on language assessments and interventions for young children. Talk a little bit about some of the specific topics that interest you.

photo of Anne Larson

AL: In terms of language assessments, I’m interested in identifying screening and progress monitoring tools that can be used for children under age three. There are very few measures available and even fewer that have included children and families from historically marginalized racial, ethnic, and linguistic groups in their development. In a recent project, we looked at the initial validation of the Early Communication Indicator (ECI) for Spanish- and Spanish-English dual language learners. Long-term, I’d like to explore modifications of the ECI and other measures, such as vocabulary checklists, for children from a variety of cultural and linguistic backgrounds.

My research on language interventions typically involves children who are around 18-30 months old. However, the projects I work on actually focus on the adult caregiver or caregivers who interact with the child. For one recent study, we trained early intervention providers to use a coaching approach in their work with caregivers of young children with disabilities. Although the focus of the study was changing provider behavior, the ultimate goal was to promote the use of naturalistic language intervention strategies by caregivers. Using these strategies, the caregivers can then affect child language outcomes.

Naturalistic language interventions are ways to support responsive and engaging interactions between children and their caregivers. Caregivers can include parents, other family members, childcare providers, and so on. An example of a naturalistic intervention strategy might be: “Comment on what the child is doing.” This strategy encourages caregivers to provide more language input around their children. These strategies are designed to be embedded within everyday activities and routines, rather than adding something extra for caregivers to make time for with their children.

Q: Your work is described as community-based research. Could you talk a bit about what that term means, as well as the rewards and challenges of this type of research? Why is this approach so important?

AL: I think of community-based research as having a genuine interest in community needs and making a concerted effort to work with community members and stakeholders as part of the research team. This approach is very rewarding to me, because I know that my research is immediately relevant to the target group. It is sometimes challenging, however, to describe this more collaborative approach, because some communities have had the experience of researchers coming in and telling them what to do without first engaging them and listening to their needs. I’m looking forward to building on relationships I have in Minnesota, understanding community needs, and continuing with this work to make critical strides for young children and families in Minnesota.

Q: Tell us about the work you will be doing with your Institute of Educational Sciences Career Award.

AL: The Early Career Award is focused on designing a language intervention that I refer to as VALI (Video- and App-based Language Instruction). This will be a four-year project. We’ll develop three iterations of an intervention for Spanish-speaking families who identify as Latinx and also have young children with language delays. Caregivers will access an app with information about naturalistic language intervention strategies that they can use with their children. Caregivers will also participate in back-and-forth asynchronous coaching with a trained bilingual early interventionist who can support their individual family needs.

Q: Your role at CEED will also include work with the Reflective Practice Center; how does reflective practice come into play in your area of study?

AL: Reflective practice has a lot of similarities with the coaching-based models I use in my research. The more I learn about reflective practice, though, the more ideas I encounter that can be incorporated into my work. I’m looking forward to expanding reflective knowledge and practice within the field of early intervention. I think there are many practitioners who, like me, may not previously have been aware of reflective practice or its benefits for providers, families, and children alike.

Q: What are some of your interests and hobbies outside of work? (That’s assuming that family life with young children allows for hobbies!)

AL: You’re right that “me” time is fairly limited with two young children! I enjoy family bike rides, hiking, and camping.

Meet CEED’s Program and Project Specialist: Q & A with Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson provides administrative and technical support to all programs and projects at CEED.

Karen Anderson provides administrative and technical support to all programs and projects at CEED. If you’ve taken one of our online courses, you’ll have met Karen in her role as technology liaison for instructors and students. She manages CEED’s social media presence, so you may also have interacted with her there. If you’ve ever used our website, Karen makes it function smoothly for users. When you connect with CEED, you’re likely connecting with Karen!

9/27/2022 Update: We caught up with Karen, who’s busy preparing to retire after 28+ years at CEED, and asked her two bonus questions. Look for her answers at the end of the Q & A!

Q: How did your career path lead you to CEED?

Photo of Karen Anderson

KA: I had a variety of jobs for quite a long time, and I came to realize that I wanted to work at a university instead of in the corporate world. I was lucky enough to be hired by the Institute of Community Integration (ICI) and CEED on a federal grant and that began my time at the university. ICI and CEED formed a wonderful community of caring people and expertise in the areas of disabilities and early childhood. I loved the environment and had the opportunity to learn so much on the job.

Q: Your background also includes experience with filming and editing videos. Tell us more about this.

KA: One of the initial grant projects I worked on involved filming and editing video clips for use with technical assistance teams. I had a wonderful mentor within the College of Education and Human Development (CEHD) who taught me the basics of filming and editing, and I have built on that knowledge throughout my time at CEED, learning new software and equipment as needed. I had the opportunity to film CEED events and to film instructor online lectures for our online courses. It’s been a wonderful way to extend my skills.

Q: Tell us about your role in managing CEED’s professional development and training opportunities.

KA: One of the most valuable aspects of providing support to our online course students is introducing so many of them to online learning. Some students may start out feeling a little timid and may be reluctant to navigate the site and use the tools. By the end of their course, many have told me how comfortable they became with online learning. I have learned so much from their feedback, and it helps us make improvements to our sites. Interacting with attendees at our in-person events has been such a privilege. Early childhood professionals are so dedicated to their work, and I am inspired by that dedication to such an important field.

Q: You are CEED’s in-house expert on accessibility. Can you talk a little bit about why this is so important?

KA: Making CEED’s resources accessible is a legal requirement. It also honors our commitment to universal design and providing equal access to materials and knowledge for people with any type of disability or challenge. I’ve been fortunate to learn so much about tools and methods for making materials accessible, both through CEED projects and because of CEED’s commitment to accessibility. And finally, I attended a workshop on accessibility where the instructor talked about accessibility being a civil right, which really touched me and guides my dedication to making certain we honor that right as thoroughly as possible.

Q: What are some of your interests and hobbies outside of work?

KA: I play piano and flute (and a couple songs on the harmonica!). I love camping, swimming, canoeing, and hiking and was an avid biker for many years of my life, riding 15 miles per day. I completed the Minnesota Ironman in biking (100 miles to Buffalo, MN, and back) and have biked from the Twin Cities to Duluth three times. I’ve traveled extensively in the US and Mexico and have a great love for seeing what’s around the next bend. I’m also an avid movie fan and am tolerating online movies until that wonderful time when we’ll be able to get movie popcorn at the theater again!

Bonus questions:

Q: What are you looking forward to the most in retirement?

KA: The things I’m looking forward to most in retirement are unstructured time, energy and time to revamp my apartment, the possibility of travel, walks, and enjoying nature. 

Q: What will you miss most about CEED?

KA: The thing I’ll miss the most about CEED is the exceptional group of people comprising CEED’s efforts and the feeling of “belonging.” They allowed me to feel part of this community for all these years, and the opportunity to learn new skills and grow in relationship with others was immeasurable. I will always remember my time with CEED and the university with great fondness and gratitude.

Designing online learning for adults: Being “seen” online

Discover how we can lay the groundwork for learners to gain a sense of community online.

By Deborah Ottman

In her previous posts on creating online learning experiences for adults, Associate Director of Professional Development, Deborah Ottman discussed three questions to ask before you start and the crucial next step of finding a flow for your online course or module. This third post in the series, which is aimed at subject matter experts, reveals how we can lay the groundwork for learners to gain a sense of community online.

In the field of early childhood education, we know the value of stimulating learning environments that encourage children to explore. We also place great emphasis on high-quality interactions between young children and their teachers and caregivers. Young children need their caregivers to engage with them in ways that are attentive and responsive, as well as predictable and supportive. When they experience these high-quality interactions, children feel cared for and confident. They, in turn, are better able to engage with others and the wider world. It’s a positive feedback loop.

In thinking about this, I’m struck by the parallels with adult learning. When we’re designing a learning experience for adults, we need to provide meaningful content that is delivered in stimulating ways. But that’s not all. We also have to provide opportunities for learners to feel acknowledged–to be “seen.” This may be especially true for online courses. In virtual learning environments, fostering a sense of community leads to greater student engagement and learning.

A woman participates in a video conference on her laptop while sitting on a couch

Social presence is a term that describes our ability to connect with others in an online environment. Learners project their personality, thoughts, and emotions into the virtual space through their interactions with one another, the instructor, and the content. Participation builds social presence and leads to greater student satisfaction in the course and its content. In fact, the more students interact online, the greater their perception of and satisfaction with their learning experience.

Encouraging interaction

In creating course components, such as discussion prompts or small group activities, keep in mind that these learning opportunities give students a chance not just to work with course content, but also to build their social presence. This is particularly the case if the course is asynchronous or self-study (i.e., not teacher-led).

There are a variety of technologies and teaching strategies that facilitate students’ interactions with instructors, peers, and content. Here are a few ways instructors can engage students:

  • Record a weekly video or audio intro for the upcoming week’s new module. The intro should respond specifically to the group of learners and their work over the previous week. Pull in past content and broader course themes to scaffold new content; course-correct on concepts that may still be fuzzy; call out outstanding responses from the group–whatever makes it feel personal for students.
  • Respond to students’ work individually via the course software or email.
  • Respond to students’ discussion threads.
  • Host live discussions via video conferencing software (such as Zoom or Google Meet).
  • Hold virtual real-time office hours; offer the options of instant messaging, phone calls, or video conferencing.

Co-creating a body of knowledge

For adults, these interactions represent an opportunity to acquire new knowledge and also to contribute to the learning community’s burgeoning understanding of the subject at hand. Learners should be encouraged to share their perspectives and interpretations of material based on their unique backgrounds and experiences. This is another component of social presence and online community. We feel “seen” and counted when we contribute to the creation of a shared body of knowledge.

Providing opportunities for learners to demonstrate their value to the community will directly improve their personal sense of satisfaction with the course, the content, the community and their own learning. Here are some ways instructors can elicit contributions from students:

  • Create opportunities for students to share their perspectives and to communicate with one another; these can include discussion boards and video recordings.
  • Ask students to respond to a prompt and reply to several others’ responses.
  • Assign small group work. Consider creating small base groups that work on group projects or assignments, or share their responses to assigned reading. You might try a weekly activity in which a rotating member of each group “shares out” with the larger class highlights from their group’s conversation or agreed-upon findings from that week
  • When crafting discussion prompts, assignments, and reflection papers, ask students to tie new content to their individual experience in their response.
  • Look for opportunities for students to share ideas about applying their new learning.

These are only a few of the ways to foster interaction online. Try a web search for your subject area and terms like “online learning” and “building community.” A little research will likely turn up many creative ideas specific to the topic, mode of instruction, and audience that you are targeting.

Just as in early childhood, high-quality interactions animate engagement. And adult learning theory tells us that engagement leads to learning. Learners of all ages thrive when they are acknowledged and seen. So when designing an online course or module, be intentional about embedding opportunities for building social presence. These are a hallmark of a well-designed adult learning experience.

The next post in this series will discuss authentic assessment. We’ll look at assessment not only as a way to measure learning, but also as an opportunity to deepen learning.

CEED’s commitment to equity in response to the murder of George Floyd

CEED grieves over the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Rayshard Brooks, and too many others.

Along with communities in the Twin Cities, the State of Minnesota, the United States, and the world, the members of the Center for Early Education and Development at the University of Minnesota grieve over the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Rayshard Brooks, and too many others.

Photo of a memorial to George Floyd at Chicago Ave and 38th St in Minneapolis, MN
Photo credit: Fibonacci Blue / CC BY 2.0

We, as part of an academic institution, vow to listen, educate ourselves, and change programs and policies that do not support inclusion and equity for all. We will actively search for and listen to the voices and perspectives of people not currently represented in our center so that we can engage in more inclusive and equitable research and evaluation, professional development, early childhood program quality, and reflective practice.

As early childhood professionals, we recognize that the impact of discrimination and structural racism begins early in life and has lasting effects across the lifespan. We acknowledge that the historical trauma and current effects of racism place children of color at greater risk for adverse childhood experiences, which affects their mental health and overall development through adulthood. We acknowledge that systemic racism in the current education system leads to more negative academic experiences for children of color and increased rates of suspension and expulsion from preschool and childcare programming, which in turn, leads to higher rates of dropout later in life.

We commit to active anti-racism practices–including being actively conscious about racism and taking action to end inequities–with the deep understanding that our collective future and the lives of children, especially those of color, are at stake. We commit to using the tools we have—research, evaluation, professional development, program quality, and reflective practice—to directly address bias and promote cultural humility in the early childhood workforce. We look forward to being part of a much-needed solution.

A look back at Summer Institute 2019

The 2019 Minnesota Early Intervention Summer Institute provided an opportunity for early childhood professionals to step away from their busy day-to-day schedules and immerse themselves in new learning.

Since 1982, the Minnesota Early Intervention Summer Institute has been an annual opportunity for early childhood professionals to step away from their busy day-to-day schedules and immerse themselves in new learning. Under normal circumstances, we’d be gathering this week on the beautiful Saint John’s University campus in Collegeville, Minnesota. We’d be connecting with colleagues, networking with peers, and of course, settling into two days of intensive professional growth. Unfortunately, the COVID-19 pandemic meant that like so many beloved traditions, the Summer Institute had to be cancelled this year.

We’re already looking forward to Summer Institute 2021, but if you’re feeling nostalgic for Summer Institute 2019, we’ve got you covered. Let’s look back at what we learned last year! Click through to read longer recaps of each session.

Photo of lake on St John's University campus
A view on campus at Saint John’s University

Supporting families is inseparable from forming relationships, as participants learned in Tackling the Tough Stuff: Supporting Families at Risk Through Reflection and Relationship. Relationships are where growth and learning occurs. Parents and caregivers who feel trust and support from a home visitor or social worker are more likely to follow through on plans they make with the provider. A major takeaway from this session: By supporting the parents, you are supporting the children.

Child development, parent support and postpartum adjustment, breastfeeding, and infant loss were some of the topics covered in Premature Babies and Their Parents: Providing Information and Support to Promote Optimal Development. Participants even co-created an online preemie care toolkit with evidence-based resources for professionals and parents.

Early intervention professionals often work with families whose backgrounds differ from their own. In Social Communication Intervention for Diverse Toddlers and Their Families, participants were reminded that each of us has a multifaceted cultural background. Building a solid relationship with a family depends upon acknowledging that the service provider and parent or caregiver may have different assumptions both about parenting and about communication.

Not all classrooms have four walls, as attendees learned in Using Nature-Based Play in Early Childhood Programs to Support Development for All Children. Outside is a classroom and children engage in learning in different ways outdoors than they are able to indoors. Nature-based play contributes to their social, emotional, and physical health. Nature experiences can also help adults engage with some children whose behavior we may find challenging.

Photo of Summer Institute attendees on the shore of a lake
Attendees of Nature-Based Play in their outdoor classroom

In Minnesota, culturally and linguistically diverse (CLD) families, including Hmong, Latino, and Somali families, are a growing part of our urban and rural communities. Effective Practices for Dual Language Learners began with the case for bilingualism. Research shows that supporting dual language learners’ native language as well as their acquisition of a second language benefits them in both the short and long term.

Like the tip of an iceberg, children’s behavior provides some clues as to what’s going on under the surface, but it doesn’t tell us the whole story, as participants learned in Understanding and Responding to Challenging Behavior Using a Holistic Approach. This session synthesized ideas from different evidence-based disciplines to help professionals dig deeper.

How can early childhood professionals be sure that their assessments are revealing the full extent of what children know? In Flipping Your Assessment Practices from Standardized to Personalized, attendees learned about letting the child take the lead in assessments. Not only does this make for a more enjoyable experience for everyone, but it also produces more authentic results.

Embedding learning opportunities in routines was the focus of our final session: The Pyramid, Classroom Engagement, and Beyond! Maximizing Instruction Using Embedded, Naturalistic, and Peer-Mediated Strategies to Meet Children’s Individual Goals in Inclusive Settings. Participants also learned about building a data collection system into routines.

Next year’s Summer Institute is scheduled for June 22-23, 2021, at St. John’s University. In the meantime, we want to thank all early childhood professionals for your vital work. The support you provide for young children and their families—whether as child care providers, educators, health care providers, social workers, or in other fields—has never been more important. We wish you and your loved ones health and well-being, and we look forward to seeing you at Summer Institute 2021!

“This work really does matter”: Q & A with Infant Mental Health instructor Londa Wagner

Londa Wagner is an instructor of CEED’s online Introduction to Infant Mental Health course.

Londa Wagner
Londa Wagner

Londa Wagner, MS, LMFT, IMH-E® (III), is an instructor for CEED’s online Introduction to Infant Mental Health course. Londa is the mental health specialist for the St. Cloud Area School District early childhood programs in St. Cloud, Minnesota. She provides assessment and support to children and parents and works with early childhood staff to promote social and emotional learning and development for children, ages birth to five. Her extensive experience providing family therapy includes her private practice providing in-home family therapy to children and families who have experienced complex trauma. Londa is a founding member and serves on the Board of Directors of the Ellison Center in St. Cloud, an early childhood mental health center.

In this Q & A, Londa gives an overview of the infant mental health field and explains what participants can expect to learn in Introduction to Infant Mental Health.

Q. What age range does the information in this course apply to?

LW: Typically, in the field of mental health, when we are talking about infants, we usually mean birth to 3 years. However, the time between conception and birth is very important as well, because there is considerable evidence regarding prenatal influences on many clinical problems in early childhood. We also often extend the upper age limit to 5 years, because much research and many clinical programs extend beyond the first three years.

Q. Can you share a definition of “infant mental health”?

LW: Infant mental health is the young child’s capacity to experience, regulate, and express emotions in close and secure relationships and to explore the environment and learn. All of these capacities will best be accomplished within the context of the caregiving environment that includes family, community, and cultural expectations for young children. Developing these capacities is synonymous with healthy social and emotional development.

A happy toddler rides on the shoulders of a smiling young man

Q: Do people who take this course usually have an infant mental health background, or is the course intended for people who are exploring careers in infant mental health?

LW: Typically, the people who enroll in this course are working with children and their families, but they are not necessarily mental health specialists. For example, in our last session, participants included therapists and directors who had mental health knowledge, but who had not been trained specifically in the development of very young children. Also enrolled were a nurse who worked in a NICU, an early childhood special education home visitor, and some international students who worked in a hospital setting. All of these people had experience working with families and children in some capacity, but none had had specific training or knowledge in the philosophies and ideas of infant mental health.

I’ve heard from many students after this course that they were now able to think differently and with a new perspective, not only when working with the infants and their families, but also when working with anyone who was once an infant, which of course includes all of us! All of the development that occurs in our early childhood years tends to follow us and influence our current experiences, our work, our marriages, and our parenting. This includes influencing our attachment patterns, relationship styles, and our “ghosts” and “angels” in the nursery. These are metaphors for negative or positive early relational experiences with our own caregivers.

Q: What are the top three takeaways that you hope students come away with from this course?

LW: The first major takeaway I want to share is that relationships are the vehicle and the context for all early learning. This idea and viewpoint is often very different from our initial training and education as professionals, and it changes our work with children and families for the better. In infant mental health, the focus is always on the dyadic relationships between infants and caregivers. This is not only because infants are so dependent upon their caregiving contexts, but also because infant competence may vary widely in different relationships. What that means is that infants may act one way with one caregiver and another way with another caregiver. How they act depends on how their caregivers act; it depends on the nature of the caregiver’s presence and their positive or negative responses to the child. As we sometimes say in this field, it depends on how each caregiver is with the child. The infant mental health pioneer Jeree Pawl said, “How you are is as important as what you do.”

The second takeaway is that infant mental health is a multidisciplinary field. Infant and early childhood professionals represent a variety of disciplines spanning a variety of program and service settings. This includes early care and education, early intervention, mental and physical health, and child welfare, among other professions. Knowledge of infant mental health is beneficial to so many professions and the information learned in this course enriches your work tenfold.

The final takeaway I want to emphasize is that early intervention for children whose development is at risk has been shown to shift the balance from risk to resilience. This work really does matter!

Introduction to Infant Mental Health starts soon. Learn more and register.

Reflective practice in uncertain times: How you are is as important as what you do

Reflective practice reminds us to check in with ourselves both physically and mentally.

By Mary Harrison, PhD, LICSW, IMH-E®

“How you are is as important as what you do.”

Jeree Pawl

Anyone caring for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers knows how intense the interactions can be. For young children, feelings are often big and unwieldy.

When times are uncertain and we feel under threat, we want to “do something.” We want to be proactive and reactive, to feel like we can make a difference, and somehow, to influence future outcomes. Parents and caregivers of young children feel a powerful pull towards protecting them from any harm.

Yet reflective practice reminds us that “how we are is as important as what we do,” as the renowned infant mental health scholar Jeree Pawl so aptly put it.

How. We. Are.

How are we?

In the infant and early childhood mental health field, reflective practice asks practitioners to explore their own thoughts and feelings, using them as data in their work. Reflective practice reminds us to check in with ourselves—with our bodies and our minds. How are we feeling? Where does our worry live? Which areas feel tight or constricted?

We may not even be aware of how our bodies are feeling or of how our emotions manifest themselves physically unless we deliberately pause to take stock. The regular intentionality of reflective practice helps us pause long enough to notice how we are.

It’s the same with our mental and emotional well-being. What are we thinking about? What are we focused on? How are we affected by what we are reading and thinking about?

And how are we—collectively, as individuals who exist in a web of relationships? Reflective practice encourages us to reach out to people we trust for reflective conversations. It reminds us that connecting with others helps us be our best selves, especially in times of crisis.

The legs and feet of a child and adult are visible standing close together in a natural setting

When we pause and notice how we are feeling within the context of a compassionate relationship, we realize how powerful our bodies and minds are in influencing the minutes and hours of our lives. We also notice that we have some control and influence over our bodies and minds. Observing is the first and most important step in assessing quality care for young children, so it makes sense that observing ourselves should come first.

Because of the need for “social distancing” to slow the spread of COVID-19, people around the world are now confronting the prospect of staying at home with children for an undetermined amount of time. They may be getting used to working from home. Or maybe they have been caring for children at home full time, but must grapple with new limits on where they can go and whom they can see. Faced with this “new normal,” we might want to jump into a strict schedule or fill our children’s days with developmentally appropriate opportunities for learning. But if we have forgotten to check in with ourselves and attend to how we are with others, we may not feel as good about the process or outcomes.

Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have just published a book that teaches us to pay more attention to how we are: The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired.

Anyone working with young children can replace the word “parental” with the term that best represents them: how a child care provider’s presence…a preschool teacher’s presence…a home visitor’s presence shapes who our kids become.

The key is “presence.” Our presence is how we are.

In these times of unprecedented crisis, our children are learning how to be from us. They are learning what worry looks like for adults and how to manage worry. They are observing all kinds of normal emotion expressions from the grown-ups who take care of them: irritability, panic, rage, numbing. If we can notice our own bodies and emotions, we gain the opportunity to teach emotion regulation skills in real time.

We can teach children that a “time out” can be a valuable chance to take some deep breaths and find a way to feel calmer. We can teach them that sometimes words and talking aren’t helpful; instead, connecting through a hug is where to start. We can teach them that we make mistakes. Sometimes, we are too loud or too angry or too worried or too checked out to be the kind of caregivers we really want to be. Reflective practice reminds us to pay attention to our own behavior. When we do that, we can own our reactions and repair our relationships. We can explain to our children that we, too, have a hard time sometimes and that we, too, are still learning how to manage our big feelings so that we do not seem “mean” or “scary.”

There is no finish line to this learning. We do not reach a certain age or have our children reach a certain milestone and then feel like we’ve got it down. Instead, as we weather ups and downs and brand-new crises, we can practice our skills again and again. The good news is that how we are as parents and caregivers is vitally important to the well-being of young children, and when we practice self-reflection within compassionate relationships, or even alone, we are “doing something” essential.